Fighting Failure

So my last post about my gym induction was my last visit to the gym, I had a complete freak out and panic about the whole thing.

My knee which I hurt during the induction too nearly a week for the swelling to go down enough for me to walk comfortably on it, and after that I just lost my confidence, my agoraphobia set in at full whack again, I piled on the little bit of weight I had managed to lose and with another hospital appointment looming next month that knocked me back even further.

I am coming back out the other side and my confidence is returning slowly but surely, I am praying that next week we can afford to get my husband signed up to the gym too, as he has offered to take part in all my challenges to help me reach my goals so being able to train together would be fantastic and mean no more fear of going it alone.

Tomorrow I have a review of the Shock absorber gym bra from my sister for you while I wait for mine to arrive to keep an eye out for it.

I promise to make this my second home and keep you up to date with my progress.

Mhairi

My first visit to Everyone Active Gym

I have given a very brief overview of my gym visit on my other blog Lilybobombs but here I need to be more open about everything, my reasons and the results, as there are so many women who are in my situation and will only be able to go forward with IVF if they reach the weight the doctors deem suitable.

Yesterday I had my first induction session at the gym and it was good, I am feeling it today, but as my fitness levels have slipped so much in the last couple of years I knew it wouldn't be an easy journey.

The gym I am attending is Everyone Active it is our local community gym they have centres in a large number of districts covering the south of england if you would like to see if there is one near you you can check HERE.

I have set 2013 to be a year of challenging myself and pushing some personal boundaries, I am challenging myself in fitness, home, DIY projects, learning, and of course my fashion choices.

You will find most of the fitness challenges will be spoken about on here and the fashion and lifestyle will be mostly over at lilybobombs, so if you want to keep up with the craziness I plan then feel free to follow me on both.

My first session at the gym was a chance to discuss with one of the personal trainers what my goals are, I worked with the lovely Charlie who was fantastic at asking the right questions and making me feel at ease. not once did he make me feel uncomfortable.

Something many plus size women, myself included fear is the atomatic assumption that we must want to lose weight, now I really want to stress that this is not the case, I am a plus size woman, who apart from being currently less fit than I would like, I am very health, with perfect blood pressure, cholesterol, all my bloods are within normal ranges, I am happy with myself 99% of the time I am not going to say 100% as we all have bad days.

Being overweight does not have to mean unhealthy, of course it can have health risks but so can lots of physical states, I am a pretty healthy person, my knees and asthma have been with me since I was a size 8 so my weight has not caused them, and I have been trying to get pregnant since I was a size 10 with no joy and the doctors have told me my weight is not a factor.

My trainer Charlie was fabulous instead of making an automatic assumption he asked me what I wanted to achieve at the gym, there are many programs available which include general fitness improvements, weight loss, muscle building, toning and quite a few more too.

This instantly relaxed me as even though my goal is weight loss for the IVF it would necessarily be my main reason for attending the gym at any other time.

After we had settled all the planning parts I was taken through a short 30 minute routine, including a 5 minute warm up on the exercise bike 5 minutes on the cross trainer, chest press 2 reps of 12 the manual rower 2 reps of 12 and the leg press 2 reps of 12 all finished up 5 minutes on the treadmill as a fast walk to wind me down and then some stretches to finish off.

It wasn't nearly as bad as I expected, I did have one scary moment when I felt me knee go on the cross trainer and had to bring it right down and come off a little earlier and then couldn't walk on it for a couple of minute, so now we have adjusted my workout so I only use the cross trainer for a minute or two till my muscles around my knee build up to support it more.

I am taking the weekend off and allowing my muscles above my left knee time to relax as I over compensated a bit and they are sore, but I am aiming for 3 days a week in the gym an exercise class and a swim next week as my main routine.

I will let you know how I get on.

Next week I have a few posts planned for next week showing you what I am wearing to the gym and what challenges I am setting myself.

Mhairi

xxx

Disclaimer: my gym membership has been gifted to me by my local everyone active community gym.

First follow up appointment post chlomid trial

Well the first two chlomid trials are over with, unfortunately still no baby.

But there was good news at the appointment, I definitely ovulated on the chlomid and it was a good high number, so I have been sent away with another two months of chlomid, and instructions to keep trying!!!

He was also pleased with my weight loss so far which was just over 5kg since my last appointment and to keep going with what I am doing.

Our next steps are, if we still do not fall pregnant, I will again be given the undiagnosed fertility problems heading and will be refereed for IVF, but my BMI needs to be as close to 30 as possible in order for them to see me.

We will have the chance of an insemination procedure with no drugs (just a plain old turkey basting) and a full treatment of IVF.

I have had some setbacks this week after realising returning to work full time while studying a nearly full time degree and trying for a baby was just too much for me to cope with right now, so I have parted company with my new job, which was devastating as I loved them and the work was good.

But onwards and upwards I am on the hunt for a part time role which will give me the chance to study and cope better with everything else in my life.

I will be posting my first GYM session next week, I know how terrifying going to the gym alone can be, but they know what I am there for and are happy to help me so I am going for it!!!

Hope there is plenty of baby dust out there for my readers who are trying and some for me too.

Mhairi 

The Long Wait

So it is 6 days till my next period and I have done my last Chlomid trial earlier in the month, why does the run up to your next period seem like a never ending road of hell.

I start a new job tomorrow so I am hoping that my week will go a bit faster as I will be keeping busy for a change, I am resigned to the fact that I am likely to not be pregnant, and the IVF is our journey, but no matter what I still spend my time agonising over the wait.

You would think after 10 years I would be more chilled about these things but I am not.

I picked up my gym membership on friday so my fitness kick is all set to go, I am going to review the gym and the classes, so if you would like to know anything about one in particular let me know and I will do my best to take a class for you, I have been asked to give zumba a go by a friend who loves how fun it looks but is worried about following the moves.

I hope everyone is well, and if you are on the trying to conceive journey I will be sending out good thoughts to you all. xx

Mhairi

xxx

On our way

Well sorry it has been a little while, everything has been a little hectic round here, but I wanted to check in and give you a little insight to the start of our journey.

As I think I previously said, I have been told I have to lose a rather large amount of weight before I can have the IVF and the doctor wants me to show a significant loss before my next appointment.

Now I have no idea what counts as a significant loss but so far I am down 10lbs and still losing so will just have to see what he thinks at my next appointment.

The start of our journey includes two months of chlomid to see if producing more eggs can help me get pregnant naturally.

It didn't happen last month and I recently finished this months cycle of tablets, so not it is a waiting game to see if my period appears next time.

Ovulation Kits

Ebay has been my saviour, I buy all y pregnancy tests from there as I begrudge paying ridiculous amounts of money for digital ones when a simple test strip can be used and cost about £2 for 5 of them

I also picked up 30 ovulation test strips from there to try to help me judge when and if I am ovulating as I think I am all over the place at the moment.

I have started walking again to increase my fitness levels and to get me more positive and happy mentally, I want to get out running soon, but I need new kit before I can do it as my trainers are shockingly bad and kill my feet!

I hope other couples out there who are on this journey are doing ok, and I am sending out lots of positive thoughts to the trying to conceive couples of the world!

Mhairi

xxx 

So it begins

Just over a months ago we restarted out IVF journey, we have been through the testing stage a few times but due to circumstances haven't taken it any further.

I have been told that I need to reduce my weight by quite a bit before I am eligible for the IVF treatments, it was a frustrating appointment because he said even though I am over weight, I am fit as a fiddle and more than healthy enough to carry a baby but the rules state I need to be a certain weight before I can move forward.

Therefore I have started this blog to motivate me and to track my journey to health fitness and hopefully a baby one day soon.

I already blog over at Lilybobombs about fashion and lifestyle and I love it so this seemed a good way to go.

So what am I doing?

Firstly I am making changes to my diet, I eat a ridiculously low calorie diet which is no use to me as I still gain weight, therefore I am changing the way I eat, more lower fats and sugars and more healthy options.

I am starting to try to take walks daily and hope to move up to running in the future, if my asthma allows, using apps like Nike plus and couch to 5k should help me in this endeavour and if I figure out which one is best I will let you all know.

I am building up the courage to maybe try some fitness classes, I love the idea of Zumba but have zero rhythm so we shall see :)

From me you can expect a lot of eclectic posts about almost anything but it will mainly be about my fitness training and IVF journey.

So if you want to follow along with me and Marc on this journey, give me a follow and you can keep up with the crazyness.

My Fabulous sister is also on this health kick with me to support me you can find her at Life on a different Level

Please be aware that I am dyslexic so sometimes my grammar is a bit special but I am only me!